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Sex, Moms and Audiotape

May/June 2006

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Sex, Moms and Audiotape

Photo: Linda A. Cicero

Mom: “How does the progression from Date One to Date Six go? I would really love to know that.”

Dating Coach: “Well, it’s more than a five-second answer . . .”

Mom: “Let me ask you: does it involve anything sexual?”

Dating Coach: “I get a lot of questions about sex, and when is that expected, and what do you do. I don’t have any set answer, like ‘do this on this date but not that.’ But I do think that there should be a progression of physical intimacy, and I think it should start from the beginning.”

Welcome to KZSU-FM’s “What Would Your Mother Say?” The call-in talk show, which airs Thursdays at 5 p.m. on the campus radio station, features an assortment of straight-talking moms who dish on matters ranging from style and manners to binge drinking and risky sex. Each hourlong episode begins with a guest expert discussing the week’s topic with producer and host Susan Morris. After 10 minutes, a mom joins the party. And after another 20, the expert leaves and two current or recent Stanford students arrive to give the mom a reality check.

A local resident and longtime KZSU contributor, Morris launched the show in January 2005 hoping young adults would call in with questions they would never ask their own parents. “There’s tremendous value in providing guidance on different issues, but beyond that, students really have a need to be able to talk to adults. Not to get an answer, necessarily, but just to have a listener.”

This atmosphere of openness and exchange is evident during a pre-Valentine’s Day episode devoted to “Dating Dos and Don’ts.” At the station break, guest moms Barbara Goodrich and Sally Friedes pepper dating coach Fran Compagno with questions and comments while laughing and elbowing each other. When the Palo Alto-based professional leaves and sophomore Matt McLaughlin walks in, Morris introduces him on the air as “our favorite student at Stanford.”

But don’t let all that warmth fool you; like most moms, these women don’t tolerate any sass. Not five minutes into the second half, McLaughlin suggests that Stanford students—“and, I think, students who go to the top 30 colleges”—are so focused on their present studies and future successes that they have neither the time nor the inclination to date. Goodrich objects: “I couldn’t get past the arrogance that it’s different at the top 30 colleges!” Friedes chimes in, “Because it’s a really smart move not to date. You have to be really, really smart!” McLaughlin stands his ground, but has visibly reddened.

“I urge them to point out their differences,” Morris says. “It makes it more interesting.” She recruited a “stable” of eight moms with diverse viewpoints from Craigslist. They hail from all over the Bay Area and have children ranging from preteens to 30-year-olds.

McLaughlin, on the other hand, was the sole respondent to an ad Morris ran in the Stanford Daily—but that was hardly a problem. “As soon as I saw his résumé, [which] said he was on the debate team in high school, I knew he’d be perfect.” Two others, graduate student Topher Anderson and Frances Lewis, ’05, joined the lineup in late February.

In addition to its FM broadcast, “What Would Your Mother Say?” streams live over the web, and Morris is looking into podcasting in an effort to expand the audience. Kathryn Todd, a graduate student in physics and KZSU’s program director, doesn’t think this will be a problem. “Her show isn’t like anything else you can hear on Bay Area radio.”

To listen, visit KZSU Live Streaming.

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