What better way to show that your dorm is the dorm than with a T-shirt? These days, most dorms boast several tees—one for casual wear, one for intramural games and the all-important Big Game shirt. Stanford dishes out the First Annual Dorm T-shirt Awards:
Ralph Lauren Award. Toyon’s navy blue “Toyacht Club” T-shirt exudes a preppiness that could drive the cheeriest sophomore to disembark.
Most Likely to Be Mocked by Paly High Students. The “How to Live in Mirlo” shirt instructs, “no sex, drink EANABs [equally attractive nonalcoholic beverages], lights out at 12.” On the back, the punch line: “But at least we’re not SLE.” Mirlo, we pity you.
Best Slogan. A pair of flip-flop shoes and the understated phrase, “Arroyo de Janeiro—a place where you can kick off your shoes,” put Arroyo’s shirt on the cool list.
Best Portrayal of Utopia. If you’re a straight guy, that is. Otero shows off its unique feature—one floor of men between two floors of women—with male-female-male bathroom icons plus the rallying cry, “Viva el Manwich.”
Huh? Award. West Lagunita is either indecisive or confused. The red T-shirt and “Buck Ferkeley” wording get the Big Game juices flowing, but why is Kermit there? (Get it? Kermit the Lag?)
Most Inspirational. Casa Zapata celebrates 30 years with a red T-shirt featuring Emiliano Zapata’s famous quote, “Es mejor morir de pie que vivir de rodillas” (“It is better to die standing than to live on your knees”).
Best Cal-Bashing. Oski has the temerity to relieve himself on a certain redwood on the front of Junipero’s Big Game shirt; on the back, the Tree gets revenge by sitting his big trunk down on a bearskin rug.
Most Coveted. The Suites have always been a sought-after place, and this year’s “Suite Valley High” shirt only adds to the hype. It has the athletic look of many college tees, and dorm staff members’ shirts even say “popular” on the back. Psychology professor Philip Zimbardo has reportedly tried to obtain one.
Best Artwork. Potter’s black tee shows a basic pirate’s map—but wait! Turn out the lights and a trail to the hidden treasure appears. A very positive spin on the fact that these upperclassmen undoubtedly did poorly in the housing draw.
