ENCHANTED EVENING
Thank you for your article on the 25th anniversary of the Stanford Viennese Ball (“Strictly Ballroom,” May/June). As an alumnus of the 1977 Wiener Philharmoniker Ball Eröffnungskomitee and, along with my wife, the 1977 Stanford-in-Vienna program and first two Stanford Viennese Ball Opening Committees, I especially enjoyed the description of the current event. It’s fabulous to see the tradition carried on.
However, your article fell short in describing the magical experience of the original balls in Vienna. I shared an unbelievable experience with fellow Stanford student Debbie Rutter, ’78, after my assigned contessa decided accompanying an American was too much of an insult to her social status. The enchanted evening included music, dance, exoticism, culture, sleep deprivation and a Cinderella-like romantic illusion that lasted until the following morning—but the sense of miracle lingered for weeks. Moreover, the acquaintances I made during this time have become lifelong friends. These include my wife (Anne Hollander, ’78, MA ’79) and my best friend from college (Craig Schwarberg, ’79, who died last year from brain cancer) as well as some of my closest friends from Stanford. The faculty members from the Stanford-in-Vienna program (Hedi, Gaby, Margaret and Helga) deserve our highest praise for their creativity and hard work in giving so many Stanford students such wonderful experiences.
I have been back to Vienna three times in the last 25 years, including once during a ball season, and am going back again this summer to relive these memories. Fortunately, I still have occasions in Washington, D.C., to waltz and polka with my wife, son and daughter and to remember my fondest times from the Farm. Life is too short not to indulge in some magic on occasion.
Roger McCreery, ’78, MS ’79
Bethesda, Maryland
AT ARM’S LENGTH
We greatly enjoyed “Hooking Up, Hanging Out, Making Up, Moving On” (May/June), because it captured so well the essence of what we saw when we were students at Stanford.
The placement of this article next to one about Viennese Ball was ironic. We used to laugh about Stanford’s supposed dating problem and concoct theories for why students couldn’t seem to overcome such trivialities, and the answer we eventually settled upon had a lot to do with ballroom dancing.
As Stanford students have withdrawn from the unstructured social uncertainty of dating, they have gravitated toward the preprogrammed, rules-defined activity of social dance. Students flock to Social Dance 1 to meet members of the opposite sex without the pressures of acting like themselves, or even acting not like themselves, or even acting at all. The date ends at the gym door, the next date is already set for the next week, and the threat of unforeseen or unintended consequences screeches to a halt with the last record. It is interaction without substance, socialization with a self-determined lack of meaning.
While social dance is newly popular at Stanford, traditions such as Full Moon on the Quad have continued unquestioned for decades, highlighting the nature of Stanford’s discomfort with social interaction. Consider this paradox, as one insightful student put it: “I can go to Full Moon on the Quad and I can kiss 300 girls. If I kiss enough, they might even make me Tree, the King of Stanford. But if I actually try to ask one of these girls on a date, I’m called sketchy.”
It’s not simply that there aren’t enough relationships at Stanford; the ways in which people enter into relationships are also skewed. Consider, for instance, that the most prominent way of beginning a relationship at Stanford is the drunken hookup. Combined with Full Moon on the Quad and social dance, this exemplifies what might be called Stanford’s culture of “plausible deniability.”
People at Stanford are dominated by their efforts to remain within an emotional comfort zone. Stanford is by and large a pretty fun place to go to school, with nice weather, good classes and a modicum of other interesting stuff to do, and students feel they can be pretty happy on a daily basis without having to put their feelings on the line in the quest for a significant other.
Several years ago, then-president Casper was famously reported to have instructed Stanford students, “Go out and get a date!” He should have started by convincing them that they wanted to.
Jonathan Masur, ’99
Somerville, Massachusetts
Joseph Hennawi, ’00, MS ’00
Princeton, New Jersey
A more appropriate title for your article on dating would have been “Hooking Up, Hanging Out, Looking Over, Leaving Out” for its glaring omission of same-sex dating and relationships at Stanford.
We were disappointed that the article didn’t profile any lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) students, let alone mention the dating issues faced by students in the LGBT community. To paint a realistic picture of dating on campus today, the article should have explored how LGBT dating is an accepted and visible element of dating culture at Stanford.
Perhaps the problem lies in having framed the article around a survey by the right-wing Independent Women’s Forum, an organization seeking to promote traditional gender roles and invalidate same-sex relationships. The survey asked women only about heterosexual dating. A better article would have examined the underlying assumptions or political agenda behind the survey and responded to the survey findings with a more complete and balanced view of dating at Stanford.
We hope that in the future Stanford will more adequately represent the diversity of Stanford students and alumni.
Stanford Gay and Lesbian Alumni Club
I want to express my utter dismay at your exclusion of the topic of same-sex dating on the Stanford campus and in the Stanford culture. It is your responsibility to ensure that every part of the University’s culture is accurately represented by your articles. As a member of the Stanford Gay and Lesbian Alumni Club and a faithful contributor to the Stanford Fund, I am hurt and feel deceived that an important aspect of many students’ careers is not represented in any way in this article. Regardless of whether the omission of the gay and lesbian dating experience was intentional or unintentional, it is not acceptable.
Stanford is a wonderful place where people differ from each other in many ways. I realize that the attempt to be totally inclusive all the time can be daunting, but it is nonetheless the right thing to do. Otherwise, those who have been excluded feel that what they are and who they are is not appreciated or recognized as being an important aspect of the environment.
I write not with the explicit intent to criticize or reproach, but more in the hope of forcing you to think about such topics in your work.
LaRonne Faulkner, ’99
San Francisco, California
I realize that your non-inclusion of LGBT dating issues may perhaps have been due to a sampling problem—that these issues simply may not have been presented in the dorms the author visited. However, I think a greater effort should have been made. I know that during my time at Stanford, every dorm I lived in housed multiple LGBT students who were actively dating. I assume the same is just as true, if not more so, today.
Jason Husgen, ’97
Brooklyn, New York
Editor’s note: From the outset, we were interested in including same-sex relationships in the dating story. Working through the LGBT Community Resources Center, our reporter made broad appeals, hoping to find suitable subjects. She was unable to locate any students interested in being interviewed. After some discussion, we decided to proceed with the story. We were disappointed that it did not include LGBT students and regret that their absence was not explained in the story.
FORGET IT?
There is much too much to remember these days (“Committed to Memory,” May/June), and those who have difficulty hanging on to all they think they ought to know will find comfort in philosopher Bertrand Russell’s belief that it is not important to remember anything, just as long as you know how to find the information when you need it.
George Fulford, ’79
Mill Valley, California
SAFETY FIRST
In the Palm Drive photograph by Glenn Matsumura (1,000 Words, May/June), I am disappointed to see that neither Nick Saadah nor Jonilson Santos is wearing a seatbelt. I sincerely hope that you will take the opportunity to point out the error of their ways.
Kevin McCluskey, ’84, MS ’85
Fairway, Kansas
COLOR ME YELLOW
My wife and I greatly enjoyed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (End Note, May/June), especially the part on how to respond to the question: “Do you know what you’re having?” My wife’s frequent answer to this was “We are hoping for a boy or a girl—but if it’s a hermaphrodite we will love it anyway!” We found that this usually prevented people from pressing the issue further.
Later, during the birth, the midwife prompted me to “call it.” It took me a second to figure out what she meant before I responded, “It’s a girl!”
Dan Cory, ’93
Seattle, Washington
IMMIGRANT PRIDE
I am pretty surprised that you printed Bill Burget’s response to the Angel Island article (January/February) in your Letters section (May/June). His comments miss the big picture and hint at an unsavory attitude toward Chinese immigration.
First of all, both Chinese and European immigrants came to this country looking for a better life. The Chinese immigrants were “illegal” because of the Chinese Exclusion Act. This racist act clearly targeted people of Chinese descent. Europeans were seldom the targets of such immigration acts.
Second, the Chinese immigrants at Angel Island were treated much more harshly than their European counterparts at Ellis Island, according to documents in the National Archives. I am pretty sure that the men in your photos were not “smiling” out of joy of being detained for months at a time.
Finally, the letter implies that people like Katherine Toy should be grateful to be in the United States. There is a short distance from this attitude to the “if you don’t like it, go back where you came from” sentiment.
I am very proud to be an American. I feel we should be respectful of all immigration experiences.
Todd Han, MS ’00
Alameda, California
DRINK UP
Though you suggest “it’s unlikely” that a rodent was ever found in a Coke can (“Legendary Subjects,” Farm Report, May/ June), some readers may know—from my book Legal Limericks—that in 1931, a Coke drinker in Pennsylvania sued after encountering a live worm in her beverage.
Cheers!
David Altschul, MA ’76
Oakland, California
HILL ON THE FARM
Thanks for telling us about Anita Hill’s visit to Stanford (“Anita Hill Tells of the Aftermath,” Farm Report, May/June). It’s good to know that not everybody at Stanford is a gun-toting, religious-right, hard-core Republican. I am so ashamed of the part played by our Oklahoma legislature in her move to Brandeis University.
James Lehman, ’37
Deer Creek, Oklahoma
STUDENT TEACHING
Allowing undergraduates to teach classes at Stanford (“A Chance to Teach,” Farm Report, May/June) does a disservice to all. Teaching takes considerable time and effort in order to be effective. Preparing lectures and answering questions from inquisitive and intelligent students, writing and grading assignments, and organizing and structuring the material are all difficult tasks for the inexperienced.
Even with assistance, for an undergraduate to teach would require far more preparation time than for a graduate student—time that would detract from the student’s studies, on which he or she should be focusing. Furthermore, the undergraduate’s inexperience and ignorance, compared with the knowledge of professors, means that students in the class receive a relatively poor course.
This is not to say that undergraduates have nothing of value to contribute. They often do, and this is when a professor can solicit opinions and foster discussions. Moreover, the professor can take particularly experienced students aside and inquire whether they would like to lead a lecture or discussion in the future and then help them to prepare it. The professor, though, should be present during those lectures.
Randy Silvers, ’88
Tempe, Arizona
SOMETHING TO DREAM ABOUT
I take issue with anyone who suggests Palo Alto was never a major part of the student experience at Stanford (“Our Town,” March/April).
I was a grad student in the psychology department from 1977 to 1979. I lived in East Palo Alto, but on the west side of 101. Rent was $190 per month. I earned a pittance teaching sections of undergrad psych courses, and after paying for utilities, I had $9 in my pocket each week.
I lived frugally, but I was downtown every day. The bike path on University Avenue was my place to mentally prepare for the day ahead on my morning commute, and my place to decompress on the way home. I still remember the scent of magnolias and the lovely homes I rode past. It gave me something to dream about: I wasn’t going to be a student forever.
Though I lived on the fringe, Palo Alto always made me feel welcome, and I took advantage of everything affordable it had to offer.
I still get back every few years. Sure, it has become overrun with pricey restaurants and high-tech-looking store facades, and I miss Liddicoat’s, that little alley of cheap eateries. But Palo Alto continues to influence my thinking about what a town should be.
Nick Corcodilos, MA ’79
Lebanon, New Jersey
UNHAPPY ABOUT SPEAKER
I’m appalled that Stanford would invite Condoleezza Rice to give the 2002 commencement address (Farm Report, March/ April; Farm Report, this issue). Her administration’s arrogant self-righteousness, its support of the Israeli government’s reign of terror, its unilateral abrogation of national and international treaties and laws—everything indicates that Rice is following in the footsteps of predecessors like Henry Kissinger, leaders whose brilliance will be forgotten long before history forgives their callousness to the suffering of the powerless. Must Stanford provide yet another forum for such attitudes?
Brock Dethier, ’74
Wellsville, Utah
UNDIE RAID OVERRATED?
“The Great Panty Raid of ’47” (Time Capsule, March/April) amused me tremendously, because that raid was not original. How do I know? My brother, Rene Bine, ’36, MD ’41, and his cohort, Lloyd Levin, ’36, led a panty raid on Roble in the fall of ’32.
Barbara Bine Emerich, ’40, MA ’43
Los Altos, California
CLARIFICATION
More than half the revenue for this year’s Viennese Ball (“Strictly Ballroom,” May/ June) came from ticket sales. ASSU special fees accounted for $11,580 of the event’s $80,000 budget, and the Dean of Students’ Office contributed $2,000.
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